Monday, December 19, 2005

GETTING WHAT YOU WISH FOR

When we finally get what we've been longing for, it's never quite what was expected. I tend to have grandiose ideas about what the future holds, and reality can never live up to such idealism. It's taken me 6 months to appreciate living in my own home, and we're still unpacking!

We Haven’t Closed on the House Yet
J.B. Rowell


Bright roses out front
bloom then burst leaving

Japanese Beetles
stunned in the Southern heat.

So much to do
that nothing gets done

boxes shuffled, stacked,
moved to other rooms

but not unpacked as
the children settle in

this new world of cable
on couch and out of way.

    I wish I had an exam
    or a certain number of words

    to write about a poetic style
    or theory, spending hours

    in the commons room
    where scenes were filmed

    for a boarding school movie.
    I acted the part

    talking about the paper
    I should be writing,

    then taking green trays
    to go sledding.

Here is the first house
I’ve always wanted.

Here are the children
I want to spend time with.

Here is the yard we should
be running barefoot in.

Instead we get in the car
to explore this new area

I’m always turned around in,
with a map in my lap

and a guide book
at my side and my two

unplugged children
navigating away

from the house of boxes,
the festering roses.

2 Comments:

Blogger reniebob said...

I love the "here is the yard we should be running barefoot in" part... reminds me of the movie When Harry Met Sally, when Sally is talking about her boyfriend and how they bought a house with some kind of tile flooring in the kitchen so they could make love on it, but they never have. So often the idea of something is different from the reality.
Sigh.

3:46 PM, December 19, 2005  
Anonymous n said...

Like rentals, purchased houses, unless new builds, have footprints of previous owners throughout them. Making your first house, your first home sure takes time. Leaving your mark with new paint, carpeting, landscaping, the laughter and tears from your family (remember Liam falling down the stairs - they are yours now) For me, no house became home until returning from my first vacation once living there. I think us women have this need to nest in our own space. Now that you know you way around the community, you may be surprised how you can focus more on making your house a home. Know you will do a wonderful job. Was it hard to decide where to put the decorations for Christmas? It is for me the first year particularly.

5:18 PM, December 19, 2005  

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