POEM SWAP

Here's the same poem with a new title (still not sure about it) and a few tweaks based on responses I got from my Friday Poem Swap group. Each Friday on a rotation, one of us e-mails a poem and in the next week we all respond to it with what was effective and then suggestions. We always seem to temper our responses with reminders that this is our own subjective perspective on a poem. I take these responses to heart because they are honest (yet kind) critiques. Nothing worse than a critique that is only trying to show one's own poetic prowess, or one that falsely praises.

forced relocation

can't keep grass down
pushes up
through seams
of concrete driveway
through cracks
of ever buckling
tectonic plates

can't hear conversation
above din
of night insect
and creature protest
throbs in wall
of trees encircling mall
pressing in

can't help but wonder
when we will be shaken
off her back
cement scabs
and all

-j.b.

I am always open to anyone's responses to my poems on this blog that our offered up with honesty and kindness (two attributes this world is short on).